Not so fast, says Michael J. Formica, a Psychology Today blogger. In a post on the “Enlightened Living” blog, Formica makes the case that thinking about cheating — and even stepping out on your sweetie — can potentially help your relationship. So, can cheating save a marriage? RELATED: Bad News: You Cheated. GREAT News: You Can Still Save Your Marriage First, Formica identifies four basic types of affairs: RELATED: “Why I Cheated” 5 Brave People Reveal The REAL Reason They Strayed
How can cheating save a marriage? Formica dives into it:
1. An affair can add fizz to a flat partnership.
What was once stale gets refreshed by new energy.
2. If you’re having an affair you’re probably doing it because you’re missing something in your primary relationship.
If you analyze the affair you might be able to see what it is that’s lacking and address that problem.
3. People tend to get into the same kind of relationship over and over again, but affairs are different.
According to Formica they often are “a more authentic barometer for what we actually need in our relationships.” Right about now, you’re probably thinking “this Formica guy is one messed up dude who’s just making excuses for cheating.” But Formica qualifies his analysis: “The ‘good’ that might come out of an affair is clearly not the affair itself or its potential painful consequences (for the betrayed, children involved, etc.). But, as I often say, everything is material for change. If we look at our choices and examine ourselves in an honest and forthright way, we just might find one of the keys to prompt our own personal growth and evolution.” RELATED: Why Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison That evolution might lead us back to a more authentic relationship with our primary relationship, or it might lead us to a more authentic understanding of ourselves that leads us away from that primary partner. Either way, that is still positive growth. Alex Alexander is an author for YourTango.
